This topic has come up quite a bit for me lately, so it seems only fitting that I really lean into my new weekly intention: I am always enough.
I had a pretty profound realization over the last week. I realized that I am continually measuring myself against my own yardstick, which is completely unrealistic. On the surface you might think – just adjust your yardstick. It’s not that simple. I realized this is something I have battled with for many years. The feeling of not being good enough & continually striving to prove myself worth to myself. As if there was this boogie man lurking around every corner waiting to shine a light on all of my mistakes & failures to finally prove to me that the feeling, I’ve always had was right. Through these conversations I had a pretty profound shift – I am actually more than enough. Reflecting back, I’ve done a lot. I’ve really stretched myself over the last 8 months & that was worth celebrating. It may not be perfect, but I’ve been intentional about tapping into & strengthening my own internal worth & turning towards those feelings of doubt & making a more conscious effort to shine a light on the small wins.
If you’re thinking, this sounds great but how do you do that? Below are a few steps I have taken that have really helped me start to shine the light on small things that can lead to big shifts:
- Pause: Most of my intentions always start with a pause. We must first notice what is happening before we can make any meaningful shifts/changes. Notice your thought patterns, notice if you default to shinning the light on perceived failures or small wins?
- Acknowledge what you are feeling: Acknowledge the power that you have within you. Realize that we have been reinforcing the same thoughts & patterns for most of our lives. We are generally taught in this society to be humble & that bragging is considered impolite. I would say that there is a way to acknowledge yourself without coming across as arrogant. Celebrating small wins is about internal acknowledgement, NOT external validation. Start by really recognizing all of the wonderful qualities & gifts you provide to the world & really hold that space for yourself. In other words, cut yourself a break.
- Open: Open yourself to the feelings that come up. You might feel shame, guilt or fear. All of those feelings are OKAY & might take some time to really work through. Opening yourself isn’t like a magic bullet that erases every thought or feeling, rather it shines a light on everything – the good & the bad. See it all completely. One of the most profound realizations I have ever had was when I started to see my shame, guilt & perceived failures as a gift. Not only the experience of it, but the deep appreciation I had for the feelings because at one point or another it has helped me, it has protected me. The work of opening is acknowledging all of that & really appreciating yourself for everything it has learned, experienced & felt. All of it matters.
- Create a daily reminder: Set up time at the end of each day to review all of your wins from that day or throughout the journey that you are on. Really hold the feeling of worth & accomplishment, even if for only 10 seconds, just hold that space. Close the space with telling yourself “I am always enough.”
- We are all in this together: Never forget that we are all in this together. You are not alone in this feeling of never being good enough. I think it’s more common than we will ever realize. The question I am always asking myself is – “Will the way that I am experiencing this situation perpetuate a hardening of my heart or will it be open?” – for me, this is the question I always go back to.
How can shinning a light on your small wins & seeing yourself completely soften your edges?
Does shinning a light on your own wins create conflict for you?
Always remember that the transformation process is always an inside out approach.