Weekly Intention: Why Am I Talking?

“Listen to silence. It has so much to say.” – Rumi

Have you ever wondered to yourself “Why Am I Talking?”

Have you ever stopped and really thought about it? Or, have you ever noticed how often you get the urge to interject your opinion? Earlier this year I heard someone share this tip and it’s been something I have added to my weekly/yearly intentions list. It’s been a game changer.

If you’re finding yourself talking more than you’re listening OR if you find yourself struggling to feel heard in conversations, give this a try:

1. Pause – always start with the pause. Set an intention to really stay present and observe your presence in conversations. Pausing helps you bring your attention back to self.
2. Notice – how often are you talking versus listening? Is it 50/50? 70/30? Whatever it is, start to notice. I started to keep track of the amount of time I was talking in conversations and I was actually surprised at the number of times I wanted to add my thoughts and the amount of space I wanted to consume.
3. Turn inward – instead of placing your attention outward by speaking louder or more often, bring your attention back to self. Continue to observe what’s going on in your internal dialogue. What’s triggering you to feel you need to speak up?
4. Ask yourself “Why Am I Talking?” – ask yourself and really listen to what’s going on in your internal system. Are you tired? Are you hungry? Are you worried? Are you scared? Are you excited? Whatever it is, just be with it. Don’t fight, resist or try to fix it, just notice. Give yourself permission to hold the space of silence and see if by doing so you start to see productive shifts in conversations.

* For the record, silence does not mean staying quiet because you are shy or afraid to speak. Nor does it mean to withdraw and check out. Instead, focus on the space you are holding and notice if it is serving your best interests or the interests of others.

How can you use the WAIT method to drive better outcomes, deeper connections, ultimately increase your confidence and bring calm to the internal noise?

There is only one way to find out …

Never forget that the transformation process is always an inside out approach.